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What is milk?

What could be more mundane than milk, you ask. What could be more basic to all of creation than a mother’s milk? And what could be more available at any street corner anywhere in the world (okay, except Asian countries) besides bread but cow’s milk?  In India, you’re almost sure to get it fresh from your favorite local cow, even delivered at your doorstep in a milk jug like we once did here in North America 60 years ago.  Touted as good for the bones, we drank it by the glass with our meals or with cookies for a snack.
I gave up drinking cow’s milk in cereal and coffee last year but still indulge in a cappucino when out and about.  But I have finally come to terms with the fact that it is not good for my health – sugar in the lactose, the growth hormones and bacteria fed to the animals, and knowing that milk is processed and acidifying.  It was one of four items which my naturopath advised me against.  When I went for the soy milk as substitute, I found that milk was not just soy and the day my partner came home with vanilla-flavored quinoa milk, I realized I had no idea what milk was anymore.  Here is the list that comes purely from what I personally have seen on the shelf:
Coconut milk
Lactose-free cow’s milk
Goat’s milk
Almond milk
Rice milk
Hemp milk (yuck)
Quinoa milk
Soy milk
Condensed milk
Some of these offer a choice of sweetened or unsweetened and flavors such as strawberry, chocolate, vanilla. There is also the light version and then the mixed versions, such as almond and rice.
Since green tea is finding its way into many products such as chocolate and ice cream, I expect we will soon have green tea milk.
I was recently in a Starbucks in the States where the customer ahead of me held his smartphone to the scanner to pay, just prior to which he uttered in perfect English “an expresso with two shots and foam on the top.”  The cashier took the order without batting an eye. I asked for a decaf filtered coffee and a regular filtered coffee and it took three rounds of corrections and repetitions before it was clear that what I did not want was a decaf expresso, nor a latte, and not a Grande decaf but a Venti, and not a Venti filtered coffee but a Grande, and not a medium roast but a dark.  I should go back to the moon.
There is one milk that has not hit the market yet. Surely it will top all milks for its exoticism and then perhaps I will really know what milk is. It will break the camel’s back.
So tell me what milk is not on my list and which is your favorite.